Sunday, June 20

Bad Boy Blogfest

Thanks to Tina at Sweet Niblets for hosting the Bad Boy Blogfest...

My scene is from one of my early novels with Hunter (who captured my heart and still has a piece of it to this day). He's a bad boy turned cop who is in love with Mariah, though he still believes she is too good for him. This is the first time they've laid eyes on one another in ten years. Mariah is on the phone with her mother when her doorbell rings. Thinking it's her friend, she flings the door open only to find....

Mariah blinked. Once. Twice. A third time, as the phone slipped from her shoulder to clatter on the tile.

“Hunter.” But Hunter Collins continued to stare at her from the opposite side of her glass screen door. Fear surged through her body. Oh, please God, no!

* * *

Hunter saw the flash of fear in her eyes, even through the glass and steel door. Her eyes never wavered from his face, yet they never quit reached his eyes.

“Can we come in?”

As if in a daze, she retrieved the phone from the floor. That alone a testament to her shock of seeing Hunter.

As if the fear in her eyes hadn’t been enough. I mean, honestly, had he done anything to put that fear there?

Fear? No. Betrayal, hurt, pain… hell, even anger, he was guilty of, but fear?
After mumbling quick, hushed tones into the phone she glanced over Hunter’s shoulder, finally seeing his partner Lanie Meyers.

“What do you want?” Her soft voice turning harsh at the end.

“Ms. Sullivan? I’m Homicide Detective Meyers, and this is Detective Collins. May we come in?”

Meyers knew that Hunter and Mariah had a past. What kind of past was a mystery to her, but he understood her desire to state their official names and ranks, though she left out that she was Lead Detective.

The color drained from her face. “H-homicide? Is there something wrong?”

“We’re not sure, ma’am. That’s what we need to talk to you about.”

Mariah opened the door, with one final glare in Hunter’s direction. “Come in. But you’ll have to make it fast. I was on my way out the door.”

The home was exactly how Hunter would imagine Mariah’s home to be. Classy, clean, and comfortable.

The living room furniture was simple. Beige couch with matching love seat took up one corner, flanked by wood end tables on each side. Over-stuffed pillows with beige, red, and gold where positioned on the couch and loveseat. And he’d bet money if he moved on a fraction of an inch it would only take Mariah long enough for his body to move before she straightened it out.

Yet the decorations and knick-knacks gave it a touch of elegance. A large country scenery picture hung behind the couch, the frame trimmed in gold, on either side hung gold candleholders with plain white long-stemmed candles.

Mariah walked to the loveseat. “Please. Set down.” She indicated the couch.
Hunter studied Mariah for several seconds while she offered them something to drink. Both, he and Meyers declined.

Once everyone was seated, Mariah wasted no time in getting to why they were setting in her house.

“What can I do for you?” Mariah directed her question at Meyers.

He understood this was how it was too be. He would be ignored unless he directly spoke. But seeing Mariah again had jumbled his thoughts so much, he needed time to recoup. He thought he’d prepared himself all the way over here. Apparently lying to himself wasn’t exactly a hardship, neither was lying to his partner when she asked repeatedly if he was okay with questioning Ms. Mariah Sullivan before arriving.

“Do you recognize this picture?” Meyers handed the plastic protected photograph.
For the second time in less then five minutes, Hunter watched the color drain from Mariah’s face. “Yes. I know the picture. Why? Where did you get it?”

“Is this a picture that has been in your possession? Or is this a picture, say a friend had?”

“It…” she cleared her throat, the color returning to her cheeks. “It’s one of my pictures. You didn’t answer where you got it.” She returned the picture to Meyers.

“We found it at a crime scene this morning, Ms. Sullivan.”

Her hands fluttered to her neck.

Such a slender, sexy neck –

Hunter forced his thoughts away from that line of thinking and forced himself to get back to business. “Is it possible for someone else to have a copy?”

“I don’t see how. It was in my photo album not more than six weeks ago.”

“Would you mind looking and seeing if it’s still there?”

“Of course.”

As soon as she left the room Meyers turned to Hunter. Though she didn’t say a word, he knew that look.

“I was caught off guard. It’s fine.”

“We have some talking to do when we leave here.” Meyers informed him seconds before Mariah walked back in the room.

“I have no doubt in my mind about that.” He knew it was coming, the moment he froze up and got lost in never, never land.

Don't forget to swing over to Tina's blog to check out all the other entries! Happy reading! :)


Theresa Milstein said...

Good scene. Tension between them is great. I love the first lines.

A couple of typos: "Set down" and "too be". My only other critique would be that she mentions she's in a rush, but wouldn't she be worried someone died that she knew?

I definitely want to read more. I enjoyed your entry.

Olivia Herrell said...

I like your bad guy. I sense that he has pretty deep feelings for Mariah, enough that they are interfering with his ability to be a cop? I'm guessing the fear in her eyes when she first sees him is about two cops showing up at her door, one that she knows from before?

Genie of the Shell said...

This is a great setup for tension and suspense! I agree with the other two commenters--I would increase her awareness that someone has been murdered and make that part of her fear or anxiety, not just that she's seeing her ex. It seems like being questioned about a homicide would upset her even more than her initial shock at seeing him.

Raquel Byrnes said...

That was switch. A bad guy reaction for a cop. Nice twist. I wonder what their history is there, it seems pretty intense. Great entry.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Looking forward to your Movie Dirty Dozen on Monday!

Amalia T. said...

Interesting scene! I can imagine how difficult it was for both of them to run into one another under those circumstances a decade later! yowza. Can't really blame him for freezing up, myself...

Melissa said...

Nice bad boy. Great tension.

Donna Hole said...

Bad boy cops are always a treat; that love-em-and-leave-em for a crime scene makes for great internal conflict and tension.

Well done.

Tessa Conte said...

For some reason cops make great bad guys...hmmm...

*shakes head in wonder*

Great scene! Now I want to know what happend before...and what happens after...

ps. I do kind of agree with the others...she doesn't really seem worried enough...

Suzie said...

I'm so sorry! Today has been a crazy busy day... hell, the last few days have. But, tomorrow things should start to mellow out *fingers crossed*...

So, I'm gonna cheat a little on this blogfest... meaning, I won't be going to everyone's blog. I will make sure everyone that was kind enough to visit mine gets a return visit from me!

So... having said that!

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and comment on my blogfest!

@Theresa, Genie, and Tessa - That's exactly what's missing!! The scene never sit right with me, but I just couldn't put my finger on it! Thanks so much! Now I know what to add to that scene!

Dawn Embers said...

Great entry. I agree that it has a decent amount of tension. I like the surprise at the start with the phone on the floor and all. And the photograph is intriguing. You have my interest.

Suzie said...

Olivia- I completely forgot to add your name to Theresa, Genie, and Tessa's... so sorry! Actually the fear in the scene is only from seeing Hunter (and a secret that won't be revealed until a later time) but you four have made the scene make a hell of a lot more sense with your observation about lack of rational fear in the scene. Thanks bunches!! :)

Suzie said...

Thank you Dawn! The photo...well... ahhhh, he's so sexy I couldn't resist. And yes, Hunter looks a lot like David Boreanaz! Yum!!!

elizabeth mueller said...

LOL! I love how he is distracted by her sexy neck. It took me off guard, I wasn't expecting it because I got involved by the cop routine thing! I'd love to read this book!

Come by and tell me what you think of my bad boy! ;)

Renae said...

Oh, love the bad cop twist. I agree with Elizabeth, I was so into the whole cop thing it took me off guard! Well done!
Oh and love the pic!

Kris & Kels said...

I didn't get a whole lotta the bad guy, but I still loved him. (and I'm sure I would see more with time)Great entry!

<3 Kelsey Leigh

L'Aussie said...

So why does making him a cop add to the intrigue. Great entry. Thanks for sharing..:)

L'Aussie said...

Forgot to say, thank you for sharing the blogfest list..:)

Roh Morgon said...

Hmm - makes me want to know about their past...